God Is A Sixth-Grader

I'm still alive, barely. I farted this out on Facebook and thought, ya know, this is kind of cool. I might be wrong. But here it is anyway.

God is a sixth-grader.
"Abraham, kill your only son."
"What?"
"Kill your kid to prove how much you love me."
"I...I don't..."
" What it is it you don't get? Take out your knife, stab your child through the heart and that will prove that I am the one true God and creator of the universe."
"What about the fossil record?"
|"Shut up! Moths on trees and all of that! Just do this thing I'm commanding you and stab your fucking kid to death. I mean, I'm a loving God and all, but sometimes I get insecure and need, like, you know, proof that people love me. So kill your son."
"Can't I just say I love you?"
"Nope. Dead kid or it doesn't count."
"Fine." (Takes out knife, prepares to sacrifice only son.)
"Psyche!!!"